If you can't say something nice...
I know that I posted something similar to this in the past but the trend has continued which has led me to want to write on this topic again. I have a feeling there are others out there who can relate!
A very simple concept I learned at a very young age while watching the movie Bambi was, "If you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all." During my entire pregnancy (okay probably whole life for that matter) and now after I have often felt although I should wear a sign that says this around my neck. Because quite honestly, people shock me with their verbal negativity that comes my way. I am going to share a few instances....
During my pregnancy:
1. I was about six months pregnant at an aerobics class and a lady in the class (who I had never met) came up to me and said ,"Honey-you aren't taking this class because you are worried about gaining too much weight while you are pregnant are you?"
Ughhh no lady...I am taking this class because working out while pregnant has a lot of positive benefits for myself and the baby...if I was concerned about gaining weight I probably wouldn't have had my 80th round of chicken wings last night.
2. On a DAILY basis I had two things occurring-one person would come up to me and tell me that I was "too thin" for being pregnant and they couldn't believe how far along I was and then literally an hour or so later a completely different person would comment on how big I had gotten?!! Talk about playing with my mind!! Make up your mind people...am I too thin or too fat for as pregnant as I am??
3. A co-worker of mine came up to me and said, "Wow! I can really tell you are pregnant now-your face is really starting to fill out!"
Okay, I was very aware at that moment that my face was indeed "filling out"...I probably could have been okay without someone else telling me so
After my pregnancy:
1. I had a girl in my office who saw the picture of my baby and she asked how old she was. When I told her she said, "Wow! I didn't lose weight that easy after my pregnancy....I had a C-section so it's harder to bounce back"
First off, I too had a C-section and you are right-it is harder to bounce back and also I didn't lose weight that easy-I worked my butt off to lose the weight! Thanks for the judgement that I didn't have a C-section and that it was easy for me to lose weight.
2. I went to the gym the other day (note: my daughter is 9 months old right now) and I had two older ladies who I haven't seen in a while come up to me at the gym separately. The 1st lady said, "You don't even look like you just had a baby-you look great!" Awww-gee thanks! (Confidence soared-my hard work had paid off!)
not even ten minutes later a different lady came up to me and placed her hand on my belly and whispered, "Are you pregnant again?" WHAT??!! I sure hope not! Thanks lady for implying that I had enough pudge in my belly area still to possibly look pregnant-nice.
These are just a few highlights of things that have been said to me. I could probably think of a dozen more. The points I would like to make are these:
1. I would NEVER say anything to anyone about their weight unless they asked for my opinion or they truly have a medical problem and I am deeply concerned about them and I think they need an intervention (like when my husband has too many slices of pizza-ha!)
2. Just like it would be considered to be rude to go up to an overweight person and comment on their weight...it is equally rude to comment to a thinner person on theirs
3. Just because you are thinner before or after having a baby does not mean it is because it was easy or effortless. Yes, I can think of a few individuals who lost weight immediately after childbirth without much effort but I am not one of them. My daughter was 7 months old before I could stop wearing my maternity pants. I gained 60 lbs while I was pregnant (they average 10 lbs between the baby and fluids) so to go to a level playing field maybe 50 lbs... and I worked my butt off to lose all 50 lbs. This included: eating healthy, Drinking Shakeology, and getting up at 5:30am six days a week vigorously doing TurboFire.
4. Before I ever got pregnant and when I was in good shape people who often come up to me at the gym and say, "What are you doing here? You don't need to work out!" WHAT?!!!! ummmm...1st off, how do you think I got in good shape and 2nd, even if you are thin (naturally or not) you still need to work out to be healthy! There are a lot of bigger people who are more in shape then thin people just because the way they are built.
5. I do gain weight and feel crappy when I don't work out and eat healthy. I had a period in my life where I just didn't care and I gained 30 lbs by just not working out and not eating well. Although I am blessed with thinner genes in my family I do gain weight like everyone else. I workout because it is the healthy thing to do. Yes, I do want a body like Jillian Michaels and arms like Kelly Ripa's but ultimately I take care of my body because the bible tells me to...
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
Again, I just shared this because I know that someone (or lots of people) out there can relate. My advice is this-we can't change what people say or do but we can change the way we handle it or let it bother us. So, try to get in the person's mind as to why they are saying what they are (usually they are trying to justify why it is okay that they aren't happy with their weight) laugh it off and immediately forgive them. Obviously not everyone has watched Bambi before....